Watching
by alygator86
Summary: Derek's POV about watching Meredith


Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's or Patrick Dempsey 

Rating: K

Summary: Derek watches Meredith.

Thanks so much to Sara, Kait and Kristi for helping me out and telling me this didn't suck.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Some people enjoy people watching. I prefer Meredith watching. It became my favorite thing to do since the first time I saw her at Joe's. When we first started dating I didn't watch her very much. I would occasionally watch her during rounds or when she was in a surgery and I wasn't I would sit in the gallery.

Then Addison showed up.

I started watching Meredith more and more. Especially after I chose Addison. As much as I wanted to be with Meredith I had made a promise and I was trying to make it work with Addison. I watched Meredith do charts, I watched more of her surgeries, I watched her at lunch or at Joe's with her friends. Some days she laughed more than others. Most of the time the way she was feeling was how I was feeling too so when I watched her it was like watching myself. I regretted my decision as much as she was broken by it. Things started getting better between us and I still watched her throughout the day.

When she gave me Doc and we started walking him together it gave me another opportunity to watch her. She really loved that dog. He was one of the things that could make her smile while I was with Addison. Early on – after we first met and I was trying to get her to go out with me – I told her I didn't get jealous but watching her with the vet actually did make me jealous. I had never gotten jealous over a girl before. Watching her dance with him at the prom got to me the most.

Watching…seeing Meredith cry is absolutely heartbreaking. When I made her cry after calling her names in the stairwell, when she was upset about her mother being in the hospital and how everything was so exhausting, when we had to euthanize Doc I want to take her in my arms and make it all go away.

When I told her I was in love with her in her kitchen I got to watch her again without feeling the wrath of angry Addison. Meredith got appendicitis and I watched her in the hospital bed and the vet. I broke up with her so that she could be with the vet but I continued to watch her.

Then Addison and I were divorced.

My sister came for a visit and I watched as Meredith saw this woman unknown to her sitting on my bed and I watched as Meredith, looking absolutely crushed, ran even while I tried to tell her it was my sister. And when I finally got to tell her Nancy was my sister she smiled her gorgeous smile and I watched her and Izzie continue on their way faintly hearing Izzie give my sister the appropriate name of McBitch.

We started over and took things slow and I still watched her. I watched her sleep when her snoring kept me awake. I watched her with patients and how caring and thorough she was. When I could I watched her during surgery, for the entire time in the gallery or briefly if she was in surgery with me.

Then her mother woke up lucid.

I watched as my wonderful, happy, adorable Meredith became dark and twisty again. I don't know what her mother said but it had to have been worse than what she said to me. I watched my Meredith under the water in the bathtub and I pulled her back up.

Then came the ferry boat accident. I watched her with that little girl, holding her hand, taking her to triage. But then the little girl came up to me. Without Meredith. Then it was more like I was watching myself. Watching myself run towards the water, pull off my coat and dive in. Watching myself grab Meredith and pull her towards and surface. Watching myself get her out of the water and lay her down on the ground. Watching myself perform CPR on my girlfriend. The girl was there again, she brought Bailey and someone else with her. I watched Meredith intently as I willed her to be alright, to wake up. I didn't have to wait too long but it was long enough. Later that day I watched her sleep in an on call room. Despite the emergency the chief made her take it easy. Getting pushed in water and almost drowning has to count for something and a short nap is the best thing now.

I have watched my Meredith since I first saw her and I can't imagine a time when I won't be watching Meredith.

GAGAGAGAGAGA

Yep. Cheesy.

Read, love, review.


End file.
